The Interpreted Rock

  By Stephen C. Schultz  When it comes to communication in families—especially between teens and their parents —a simple question can open up a surprisingly deep conversation: Which one matters most? Being right Being kind Being honest Being understood Each of these qualities carries weight. Each shapes the tone of a relationship. But if we’re looking for the one that helps families grow, heal, and stay connected through the turbulence of adolescence, honesty rises to the top. And not just the kind of honesty where we tell the truth about what happened last Thursday. I mean a broader, more courageous form of honesty— intellectual honesty, emotional honesty, and honesty with ourselves . Dishonesty and the Trust Equation Teens sometimes hide the truth—sometimes to avoid consequences, sometimes out of fear of disappointing parents, and sometimes because they simply can’t yet articulate what they’re feeling. Parents, too, may avoid full honesty in an attempt t...

By Stephen C. Schultz The language we use to describe problematic sexual behavior (PSB) is evolving. And it’s long overdue. For years, young people have been labeled with terms that reduce them to their worst moments: “Sex offender.” “Predator.” “Perpetrator.” “Aggressor.” Words that erase their humanity, ignore their developmental stage, and reinforce stigma instead of healing.                                                Here’s what’s shifting: Person-First Language Not “a sex offender” → “a teen with problematic sexual behavior (PSB).” This identifies what he is struggling with rather than defining who he is. Not “a perpetrator” → “a youth who caused harm.” This recognizes accountability without assigning a permanent or adult-level label. Not “a predator” → “a young person who needs support and intervention.” This focuses on his capacity to lea...

 By Stephen C. Schultz As we once again head into the Holiday Season, it is important to be aware of the impact of the holidays on those we love and care about. The holidays are often described as a time of joy, family, and celebration. But for many, they bring a quieter reality - one marked by stress, loneliness, or the resurfacing of painful memories. For some people, the holidays represent connection and renewal. For others, they stir up what has been lost, what never was, or what once hurt too much to recall. The very things that make the season feel special - music, smells, family gatherings - can also awaken deep emotional undercurrents, especially for those with a history of trauma. Why the Holidays Can Trigger Past Trauma Many people who have experienced trauma - especially early childhood or relational trauma - notice that this season brings unexpected emotional intensity. Science now confirms what survivors have long known: certain times of year can activate implicit ...

By Stephen C. Schultz At The Interpreted Rock , I often write about the ways we can learn from our experiences—and from one another. Every generation faces its own set of challenges, and one of the most consistent for parents and teens alike is how to navigate a world where alcohol is ever-present. Understanding this issue thoughtfully can help families build stronger, more honest relationships rooted in trust and awareness. I recently read an article that mentioned teenage and young adult drinking was on the decline—a very encouraging trend. The article suggested that, in long-term studies, moderate alcohol consumption did not show severe or lasting harmful effects for most adults studied. However, it also acknowledged that genetics, socioeconomic status, and mental health all play significant roles in how alcohol affects each person. What stood out to me most was the author’s suggestion that there needs to be a middle ground—that the real issue isn’t simply about drinking or not dr...

 By Stephen C. Schultz Enrollment at Oxbow Academy is always an emotional experience—for both students and their families. The transition represents a major shift in life and relationships. At Oxbow, we encourage families to remember that our work is centered on a single guiding principle: “Developing a Relationship with Honesty.” When your son expresses resistance—whether by saying things like “Oxbow isn’t a good fit for me” or “I don’t belong here” —it’s important to recognize what’s really happening. These statements are not about whether Oxbow is the right program. Instead, they reflect resistance to authenticity and honesty. Students often come with a “center of the universe” mindset: “The world needs to adapt to me.” This belief is not entirely their fault—it’s something that has developed over time, often through well-intentioned patterns within families, schools, and communities. To better understand why this matters, let’s take a step back and consider some key ideas. H...

By Stephen C. Schultz Every so often I peek at the blog stats—kind of like checking who stopped by the front porch. Today’s snapshot was a fun mix: readers from around the world, and posts from different years all getting love at the same time. Below are the six most-viewed articles in the last 24 hours, each with a quick, no-spoilers synopsis so you can jump right in. A Short History of The Interpreted Rock Launched in 2008, this blog has spent over 17 years sharing practical help, family stories, and mental-health insights that age well—because people don’t stop needing encouragement, clarity, and a little humor. As told in “Unpacking ‘The Interpreted Rock’: A Journey of Meaning and Insight,” the title points to the idea that meaning isn’t always sitting on the surface; it’s discovered by looking closer, asking better questions, and thoughtfully interpreting what’s in front of us. That lens—curiosity, humility, and care—guides every post here.  Today’s Top Reads   1) The Res...

 By Stephen C. Schultz Some stories stick with you because they’re beautifully written, but others stay because they make you think differently about life. My daughter Amanda has done both in her contributions to  The Interpreted Rock . From a fresh twist on a classic fairy tale in  Perfectly Wicked , to an insightful look at why bullies shouldn’t get all the attention, to a powerful reflection on  Mental Toughness , her words are equal parts wisdom, warmth, and challenge. You’ll laugh, nod, and maybe see the world a little differently. Come read, and be inspired. As I was reading through my blog the other day, I came across a few articles connected to Amanda. She’s one of those rare souls who’s always seemed older than her years — you know the kind. Driven yet kind, understanding yet grounded, with a quiet maturity that seems to “get it,” whatever it happens to be. As a child, she was both a strong student and a dedicated athlete. She was popular, but never boastfu...