The Interpreted Rock

 By Stephen C. Schultz We live in a world where almost everything is available to us immediately. We can order food, purchase just about anything, communicate with someone across the world, or find entertainment without ever leaving our homes. We have become accustomed to getting what we want, when we want it. For today's teenagers, the innocent days of riding around the neighborhood on your tricycle are gone before you know it. The ready access to just about anything you want isn't simply a convenience. It is the environment in which they are growing up. Consider how easily young people can access alcohol or drugs, spend endless hours playing video games, or view pornography anytime and almost anywhere. They can pursue immediate physical gratification without necessarily experiencing the patience, vulnerability, and relationship-building that come with getting to know another person. "I want what I want, when I want it, and I want it right now" seems to have become a...

 By Stephen C. Schultz Editors note: Both pictures of the eagles I took with my phone. The first one was taken in my backyard. The second was taken on my way to Oxbow Academy . I have digitally enhanced each picture using AI for the express purpose of placing them in this article on my blog. There is something fascinating about the eagle. For centuries, it has represented power, integrity, courage and freedom. Its remarkable eyesight, ability to soar to great heights, and confidence in navigating its surroundings have made it a symbol of strength and independence. The eagle seems to occupy a world of its own. It can rise above the landscape, survey what lies beneath, and choose when and where to act. It is a bird that commands attention without necessarily demanding it. Perhaps that is why we are so drawn to the eagle. The characteristics we associate with this magnificent bird are qualities many of us would like to develop in our own lives. A closer look at the eagle offers some i...

 By Stephen C. Schultz When adolescents feel like passive cargo being shuffled between schools and treatment programs, resistance can become one of the few ways they feel they can regain control. Involving them meaningfully in the enrollment process can begin to change that experience. Rather than feeling that a decision is simply being made for them, they have an opportunity to understand their options, express their concerns, and participate in planning a path forward. At Oxbow Academy, we believe that involving a young man in his own enrollment process is an important first step toward building trust, reducing defensiveness, and developing the personal accountability essential to meaningful clinical progress. Parents and professionals must make decisions based on safety, clinical needs, and available options, but adolescents also deserve to be heard and treated as active participants in their care. Acknowledging the Reality Parents Face This approach may sound a little idealisti...

 By Stephen C. Schultz There is a question that is regularly the topic of discussion whenever a parent calls me; How do we make responsible decisions about our son's future when we may not yet understand the full story? There are times when the most important question is also the most difficult to answer: What do we really know? When a young person has engaged in problematic sexual behavior, the questions facing parents, clinicians, attorneys, and other professionals can be especially complicated. There may be conflicting accounts of what happened, important information that has not been disclosed, or behaviors that are difficult to understand without more context. The consequences of our decisions can be significant, both for the young person and for the people who may be affected by their behavior. In these situations, it is tempting to look for a clear answer. We want to know what happened, why it happened, whether it is likely to happen again, and what needs to change. But what...

 By Stephen C. Schultz Five years ago, I listened to a podcast conversation between two people I know and respect. Today, I found myself thinking about it again. I was talking with a potential Oxbow Academy student and his family, and as we discussed some of the challenges they are facing, I found myself using several of the principles that came up in that conversation. When the call was over, I thought, Where did I hear that before? It didn't take long to remember. I went back and found the podcast. It was a conversation between Dr. Gwen Palafox and Dr. Jared Schultz called The Developmental Process of Transitioning to Adulthood . And there was another reason the conversation was familiar. Jared is my younger brother. I had introduced Jared and Gwen to each other several years ago. I have had the opportunity to visit with Gwen a couple of times and have exchanged quite a few emails with her over the years. I have always appreciated the way she approaches her work and the way she...

 By Stephen C. Schultz The thump, thump was unmistakable and annoying all at the same time. With my eyes closed and my head in that fog that only happens as you are coming out of sleep, I was beginning to realize the thumping was the sound of cars on the 10 in Southern California, driving over an uneven crack in the cement. Yes, it was early. Still dark outside. I rolled over and looked at my phone. As is usually the case, my five o'clock alarm was about to go off in about 30 seconds. There was a quick awakening and a sharp focus as I reached for my phone, hoping I could turn the alarm off before I actually had to hear it. I had a reason for being up so early. I was attending a conference in Southern California, but I needed to speak with a family living in the Eastern time zone. Their day was already well underway. Mine was just beginning. I got out of bed, made my way to the small hotel desk, opened my computer, and started preparing for our call. They had a 12-year-old son. Thre...

By Stephen C. Schultz The sun was shining through the limbs of the great Douglas fir trees. Morning was in the air, and a cool breeze carried the fresh scent of dew across the field. Fall was beginning to make its presence known. As I stood there taking it all in, I found myself thinking about a recent experience that was shared with me involving a second grader, his teacher, and his parents. It was a simple story, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized there was something important in it. Sometimes the smallest moments in a child's life can remind us of something we adults too easily forget: children are still becoming who they are. The teacher had reached out to the boy's mother the day before and asked if she and her husband could meet with her briefly the following day. She assured her that it wasn't an emergency, but there were a few things she wanted to discuss. The next day, both parents arrived at the agreed upon time, and their son came with them. The...