Skip to main content

Teen Party At The Beach - A Personal Experience


By Stephen C. Schultz


Every person who reads this post has had an experience with someone who is addicted! That may seem like a pretentious statement, but sober thought brings us to the realization that it is true.

My career has consisted of working with troubled teens and their families for over 25 years. I am an addictions counselor by training. Mine is an interesting scenario since it is usually important for someone in recovery to feel "connected" to their counselor through the shared experience of fighting addiction. Often those in recovery feel a "calling" in life to assist others through this physically difficult and emotionally painful process and they go on to become counselors themselves. My life has been a life void of personal substance abuse. However, I have seen the effects on my wife and her family, as well as our children, from a father/grandfather who suffered with a chronic Substance Use Disorder. He has since passed from complicating factors associated with alcohol dependence.

Yet, when I look back, my life seems to have been surrounded by those struggling with addiction. It is currently my career to work with families who struggle with these issues. However, this addiction monster has always seemed to be around.



I recall a time in my high school days when I was at a party after a football game. My family lived in Eugene, Oregon and the coast was only an hour or so drive. This particular party was being held at Driftwood Shores, a resort condominium complex on the Oregon Coast about an hour west of Eugene. I proceeded to go down to the beach and build a fire. I grabbed some driftwood logs for benches and had a pretty good blaze going in about thirty minutes.

The big tight end from the football team came walking up the beach attracted by the fire. He was obviously having a hard time keeping his balance, but was very conscientious not to spill the two “fifths” he had, one in each hand. He stumbled over beside me and kindly offered me a drink. I mentioned I was doing just fine…he offered again. I said, “No thanks, I’m good just sitting here by the fire.” He then turned back to the fire. He looked at a bottle in his hand, then he looked at the fire. In one uncoordinated gesture he proceeded to pour what was left of the fifth in his left hand, on the fire!




Flames shot skyward over ten feet high…the beach lit up like the Fourth of July! This 6’5” 220lb Tight End, staggered backward away from the flame and tripped over a log, bottles flying! He sat dazed for a bit, and then simply said, “Sheeeeiiiiitt”! There were a couple of us there and we all laughed. What seemed funny then, isn’t all that funny now. Since that night by the fire, I have wondered what would have happened should this friend of mine suffered major burns.

You would naturally think that would be enough excitement for one night. However, it wasn’t more than twenty minutes later and there was a group of kids, boys and girls, all sitting around the fire. Everyone was talking and nursing a beer. A few of the kids had a screwdriver that was mixed up in the condo. One of the guys sitting around the fire stood up. He began to take his shirt off and then his pants. He got down to his jockey shorts and quietly slipped away from the group. He wasn’t drawing attention to himself in anyway and no one seemed to notice. He started walking towards the surf. (This was October on the Oregon Coast. If unprotected by a wetsuit, there was a good chance he would die from hypothermia in ten to fifteen minutes.) He was up to his waist by the time I got to him.

I said, “Hey Dan*, I don’t think it’s a good time to go swimming right now!” (*Name has been changed)

He said in a slurred voice, “I just want to go for a little swim.”

“No” I said, “Lets go back to the fire and warm up”! I then grabbed his arm at the elbow and we walked through the surf back to the group.

I got him back to the fire and got his clothes back on. No one was even aware of what was happening. There isn’t a doubt in my mind that if he would have continued his “swim”, we all would have been attending his funeral in the next week or so.

Some might say this is just normal teenage behavior…that it’s a “Right of Passage”…is it? Some people party like this as teens and “grow out of it”. Others never seem to mature past the age of seventeen…even though they are in their thirties, forties and fifties!

I’m interested to know what others think. I'm interested in others experiences as well. Some might say these two kids weren’t “addicted”, and technically that may be true…but dead is dead, regardless of a definition.

What are your thoughts? I am interested to hear from a wide range of people with different backgrounds and experiences.

Comments

Julia said…
It would be difficult to say if any of these kids had an addiction or even a potential for addiction. However, teens don't have to capacity for serious thought about consequences as that part of their brain is still developing. They just are hotwired yet to stop and think about consequences.

Parents have to have serious discussions with their kids about consequences without being judgmental. It's tough, but if the parents don't make the effort, they may have to live with the consequences.
Julia said…
I meant to say they are NOT hardwired to stop and think. Sorry for any confusion.
Thanks for the comment Julia!

Yes, teens do struggle with judgment issues because the frontal lobe of the brain is still developing.

It becomes a cycle of unintended consequences when the poor judgment leads to drinking and the introduction of alcohol impacts judgment, which leads to more risky behavior.

Popular posts from this blog

When Seizures Strike: A Story of Resilience, Love, and Hope

 By Stephen C. Schultz  As a father, I never anticipated seeing and emotionally supporting my daughter through 50 seizures a day, for days on end. Each seizure brings with it a stiffened left arm and leg, convulsing motions, eyes rolling back to the left, and her head contorting to the right. Her breathing stops for the duration. The most harrowing aspect is that she remains conscious and aware of her surroundings. She can hear people talking, but her body simply does what it does. After 15 to 30 seconds of not breathing, a panic begins to set in. What if the seizure doesn’t stop? It’s a horrific experience to endure time and time again. It is nothing short of torture, with the emotional and psychological trauma that accompanies it. There were four seizures in the car on the way to the emergency room, all within about 20 minutes. After 10 hours in the emergency room, she was admitted and immediately hooked up to an EEG. There was a computer screen displaying graphs and a video...

The Young Boy and the Rattlesnake

By Stephen C. Schultz (Editors note: This is a story used in a Wilderness Treatment Program. Many come to this program having struggled with depression, anxiety and substance use.)   Many years ago there was a young Native American who lived in the very land you are residing in. He decided to seek wisdom by journeying to the top of Indian Peak. As he approached the base of the mountain he came across a rattlesnake that slithered beside him. The snake coiled as if to strike and the young boy moved back quickly in fear of being struck by the snake’s deadly venom. At that instant the snake spoke to the boy saying, “Don’t be afraid of me, I mean you no harm. I come to you to ask a favor. I see that you are about to traverse to the top of Indian Peak and was hoping that you may be willing to place me in your satchel so that I don’t have to make the long journey alone.” The young boy surprised by the snake’s request quickly responded by turning down the offer, stating, ...

Understanding and Addressing Problematic Sexual Behavior in Teens

 By Stephen C. Schultz Teen sexual behavior concerns can be difficult for parents and professionals to navigate. When a teen exhibits problematic sexual behavior (PSB), it may be a sign of deeper emotional struggles, past trauma, or impulse control issues. Recognizing the signs early and seeking appropriate therapy for teen sexualized behavior is crucial for their well-being and development. What is Problematic Sexual Behavior in Teens?   Problematic sexual behavior (PSB) refers to actions that are inappropriate for a teen’s developmental stage, violate social norms, or cause harm to themselves or others. This can include excessive sexual curiosity, coercive behaviors, or an inability to respect personal boundaries. Troubled teens with sexual behavior issues may struggle with emotional regulation, past sexual trauma, or underlying mental health conditions. Signs of Problematic Sexual Behavior in Adolescents   Parents and caregivers should be aware of warning signs that ...