By Stephen C. Schultz
Transactional Analysis- Ego States
Understanding this model will be a valuable
piece of information for you as you work with colleagues, parent your children,
communicate with your husband or wife and interact with others in your
community. These principles will assist you in gaining insight into your own
style of behavior and communication. Remember that awareness is the first key
to opening the doors of maturation, refinement and growth.
In
the 1960s a psychological theory became available known as Transactional Analysis.
The chief proponent of this new theory was Eric Berne, M.D., an Austrian
psychiatrist. Transactional Analysis developed
significantly beyond Berne's early theories through the work of others and has
continued in its development and practice even to today. Berne recognized that
the human personality is made up of three ego states. Each ego state is an entire
system of thoughts, feelings and behaviors from which we interact with one
another. Transactions refer to the communication exchanges between
people. Clinicians who study and practice this theory in therapy sessions are
called Transactional Analysts. They are trained to recognize which ego states
people are transacting from and to follow the transactional sequences so they
can intervene and improve the quality and effectiveness of communication.
The three ego states Berne’s referred to are the Parent,
Adult and Child. The interactions between these three ego states form the
foundation of transactional analysis. Although transactional analysis involves
other concepts and ideas, this document will focus solely on understanding what
the ego states are and how they operate in our lives and in the lives of others
around us.
The original Parent-Child-Adult components were eventually
sub-divided to form a new seven-element model. The following page describes
each of the sub-set ego states
as they are referred to now for our purposes.
Parent Ego
States
Critical Parent- demanding,
belittling, judgmental, controlling, sarcastic
Ex. “Are you kidding
me? You did what with Megan last night? Can you be anymore irresponsible?”
Nurturing Parent- protective,
caring, helpful, placates, enables
Ex. “Why don’t you let
me carry your pack for you today, those books look heavy. I noticed yesterday
you were having a hard time keeping up.”
Adult Ego State
Adult- operates in the
here and now, respectful communication, defines personal code of ethics and
values (honesty/integrity), considers well-being of others, anticipates
consequences of choices, defines appropriateness of own behavior, insightful,
introspective, exercises executive direction of other ego states
Ex. “I’ve spent too
long putting off getting the help I need. Being here is an opportunity for me
to finally take responsibility for my life and prove to myself and my family
that my life is worth something to me.”
Child
Ego States
Natural Child- fun-loving,
emotional, curious, self-centered, volatile, dominant them is to “feel good”,
pleasure-seeking, adventurous, creative, impatient, demanding, “center of the
universe”
Ex. “I have to get
out of this school now. I can’t stand to be here another day. I’ll do whatever
it takes to get out of here.”
Adaptive Child- Wants to please
others, follows the rules without questioning, accepts authority, complies, and
obeys. Externally is the perfect student.
Ex. “Sure I’d love
to mow the lawn today.” (While inside having no desire to do so but not wanting
to come across as being non-compliant).
Rebellious Child- non-compliant
resents and rejects control by others, non-conformist, unwilling to cooperate
or compromise
Ex. “No way they’re
getting me to get up and feed the calves today. I’m not getting out of my bed.
If they tried to get me out they better watch out because I’m coming out
swinging.”
Little Professor- manipulate
people/circumstances to own advantage, clever, deceitful, dishonest, close ally
of the natural child, no regard for rules that impede own interests,
exaggerates, distorts, embellishes, plays psychological games with others
Ex. “My stomach hurts
so bad I don’t think I can participate today. I was throwing up and had
diarrhea all last night. I really need to see a doctor. I promise that once I
see a doctor I’ll be alright and will be ok.”
Developmental Milestones
Finally, to better understand the model,
keep in mind these basic tenants:
A.
Ego
states continue as part of the personality throughout life, but may change in relative
strength.
B.
The
Adult ego state doesn’t start to become evident until about nine to twelve
years of age, for others, later.
C.
Strength
of the Adult does not necessarily correlate with chronological age.
D.
Executive
control by ego-states is not something given up easily. For the Adult to become
the primary executive and manage the personality it must develop considerable
strength and insight. With it comes insight
management. Insight management is
the act of managing one’s own ability to understand the motives and reasons
behind one’s actions.
E.
The
most difficult ego state to discern is the Little Professor; as the Adult
becomes more insightful, and stronger, it becomes more capable of governing the
Little Professor.
F.
Without
a strong Adult, inter-personal relationships degenerate into a web of
unproductive and manipulative games, with no real winners, nor intimacy.
The main task for personality development is to help the Adult Ego
state become the primary executive in the personality and to be able to
appropriately govern the other ego states. Success in interpersonal
relationships is dependent on the strength of the Adult. A key element for
establishing healthy relationships is learning to strengthen the Adult ego as
the main executive functioning system.
For example, in the mild to moderate, each of the Parent Ego
States is pretty common and would be considered “Normal”. However, each of
these can also be damaging to relationships when over used. Each can be
demonstrated in a manipulative way or used insincerely.
The next thing to think about is the fact that each of the
Child Ego States are also used by us as adults! We simply have an adult
version, but the ego state is the same. Do you ever find yourself in the
“Rebellious Child” ego state? What about a time at work when you were the
“Adaptive Child”? These are aspects of
personality and communications that are certainly important for us to
understand and recognize as we deal with others. Remember, the Adult Ego State
is the goal. This is where we want to spend most of our emotional time when
communicating with others.
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